I’m not happy; the world inside me is left empty. So where am I to go now? It seem every passing day the light fades into the abyss of reason, the season is changed in domain of its predecessor. If compassion can hold the light, than I can wail in the dark. I know people are out there to help me, but to refuse it; it seems like a light in its own self-right. I feel like if people were to get close to me I would abuse them. This I know is not true, but something has changed with my love because I do not know myself so my control can influence those around me dramatically. Change and stillness simultaneously in the works in my heart leave me fascinated and afraid. Maybe a little fear is good, but I have no Idea where it comes from…it is myself. The way I think, unable to think otherwise because I am imprisoned in this judgement of God.

So as I sink deeper into this darkness, maybe I will find my own light. One must be courageous in their life to live it well. To live their dreams and attitudes without…it being nothing. Motionless. What would be the point then? Life is meant to move, act out. I must be the heaven on earth like so in my mind to truly fluoresce. Inspire those to keep moving forward, learn from the others to teach one another. In tough times, dark realms, one finds a place safe, sweet and sound. A peace no one else can hear because you adapt to a length no one else has before. Depression might as well be called adapting to a spirit others cannot, why and why not is the only question of doubt. As the scribe of God I vow to love and protect the right of humanity, to thrust forward the self-realization of faith. At great lengths we find the place we were looking for inside us. We become a parent of not just one soul, but many if not the worlds. When we belong on the world, we belong as the world with our purpose to be, in light that we are and contribute to everything that already is.

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